This is my life...

Going to work these days holds about as much excitment as walking across tacks in bare feet. I can not very well say that I am enjoying much about this year and as it progresses, less and less. Then, you just get really down on yourself because its not fair to the kids. And the vicious cycle begins. Here is a snap shot of the kind of pats on the back you might get (taken from a recent bulletin):

"Staff FYI’s:
2. Teachers, if you send students to the office, please send a note telling us why they are here. Otherwise we will send them back. We have had up to 8 kids in the office doing homework or to talk to someone and no one has a note.
3. Please do not teach your students to walk on the yellow line in the halls. They need to walk outside the yellow line to keep from getting hit by doors. (**this one is in the bulletin at least twice a year**)
4. When out on the playground in line, please walk your students around other lines. Some teachers are walking their students right through other teachers’ lines.
5. I don’t see what’s going on in front of the school at 2:00 because I’m always at bus duty, but I understand it gets pretty hectic. We discussed at leadership having one teacher from each grade (1-3) make sure the students are sitting in front of the school while waiting for their parents. Fourth and fifth students would find their sibs and sit with them. Teachers would help facilitate students getting to cars safely. Talk to your leadership rep about this."

Nine times out of ten, that is what it feels like in my work environment - naga, nag, nag...everything is a mess and you do nothing right. As for the way you teach, you pretty much NEVER hear good job or have support from the people around you. And then they wonder why I do not feel comfortable coming to them when I am having a tough day. Because I feel like I am always being judged and scrutinized. Typically, I have a pretty thick skin for this, but lately, I am just sick and tired of it. It is making me miserable because nothing ever seems good enough. I do not even really feel like going to work and bothering to put in the effort, in fact, yesterday I didn't. And everybody behaves like a martyr because they want to be noticed. It is sucking the soul out of me. And I honestly have to considered whether this is (a) in my head, as in I am crazy, depressed, whatever, (b) I really need to change schools, or (c) I am not meant to teach.

The only one that truly scares me is the first one. Which probably also means the third one. Either way, its Friday, I am going to work on that bouldering route again and try to forget how much a detest my working environment. Then I will get a nice bottle of something and attempt to get to a movie with my neighbor. Here's to the small stuff...Happy Friday, bezatches!