Undecided

My strongest inclination has been to quit, find another job closer to home and stop the insanity of commuting. It isn't easy for me to have worked so hard to just walk away from it all and that is what I struggle with at present. And I keep eating more ice cream. Ice cream never was much of a comfort food, but that's because it made me miserable. I tried a new flavor of Coconut Bliss this weekend - Mint Galactica. If there was one kind of ice cream I loved as a kid, it was mint. I loved that funny green color of the Dreyer's Mint Chip. I found myself digging out the little pieces of chocolate from the ice cream container so I would get more chocolate per minty bite. Its way too expensive to keep up this new comfort food and not so great for my waistline, but its so yummy. The stress of things at the moment has me turning to naps, ice cream and Stephanie Plum mystery novels. Wow, I may have hit an all time high. Except the pounds that inhibit my running comfortably and the lack of motivation to do enough mileage is going to stink come marathon time. The next four weeks require me to hit it a little harder. I just sort of want to be done with everything and not have to think about it for a few weeks. I need a vacation. I haven't had a vacation since Boston and that wasn't much of a vacation - it was cold. Cold does not equal vacation for me. Extreme heat while sitting by a lake or ocean equals a vacation for me. Backpacking to some place away from others equals a vacation for me. I haven't been anywhere relaxing in a long, long time. I need one. I need to go somewhere, run, hike, eat ice cream, do crossword puzzles, drink ice cold somethings, and read trashy books. Now that's a vacation. One more week of the bull, one more week to decide what to do and make a plan. Really the plan needed to be made long ago, but I lack the motivation to do it. I can't figure out why. Usually, I make a decision and then feel this glorious weight lifted. I'm still in limbo land, so that's probably the issue. I guess because there's still hope that something else might come of all the bull @#$%, I can't let go and decide. I can't make a choice because I feel like it makes the whole last year worthless. What will it take?