Going Batty

This image is a bat. I love bats. Quite batty, I am, you might say. Every year I teach an thematic unit about bats. My students learn scientific terms like echolocation, mamiferous, and nocturnal. I am always quite impressed by their ability to make connections to their world or other texts they read. I also like to point this high level academic language (first grade, mind you) to people who tell me that we need to raise our expectations. This year, I hope to raise money to get the bat experts from the California Bat Conservation Fund. They will bring bats in to the classroom. This image is from China. In China the bat is a symbol for happiness. The bat mosaic is in the form of a circle. You walk around it and it is supposed to bring you continued happiness. I'm getting there. Catharsis. I love to watch bats flitting about at dusk. I guess the Chinese were right, happiness. It brings a certain calmness to the mind.

Want to learn more about these beneficial mammals: http://www.batcon.org/home/default.asp

Picture It

Just some random China pics.

Today was a good day at school. I think the kids had fun and so did I. I always have to remember that the beginning of the year is a process. So that is my reflection for the day.

According to the coin toss I did in the first fountain with the bare-bottomed, joined-hand children (actually, there is probably a more culturally senstive name for this, but I don't know it...) I should soon be gaining power and love. I suppose that is a strange combo. You stand on the stones with the symbol for different things - love, power, marriage, wealth, family - and toss the coin. If it lands in the center a booming voice laughs. I thought that a little ironic. Why couldn't it go "Woh-hoo!" The laugh really felt more like, "yeah right, chump!" I kind of like the idea of power and love coming without wealth, marriage and family. That works.

The second photo on the right is a night scene near the river that runs through Nanjing. We went for a boat ride on the river. It had that similar feel to the runs I used to do in the botanical gardens in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, past the charco - beauty with faint smell of stagnant sewer water. Eww.

The third photo is a woman stringing silk cocoons over a bamboo arc. She looks to be 80, but her hands are that of a much younger woman. I think I would wrap my face in it, as that is the case. Who cares about my silly hands?!? Young and beautiul forever!

Speaking of young and beautiful, I want to share an email my mom got from a friend. Something all women can appreciate. It's pretty funny.

"So Friday, I go to the dr for my final check up for my shoulder. She proceeds to weigh me. After I ask why they insist on weighing you for a stupid shoulder injury, I think..okay, its time. Its now time to look at the scale - after the past 3 visits of not looking. I remembered what you and J said ---- that Oprah says " you own the number". Well I proved old Oprah wrong. I don't own that number. That number belongs to the fat lady in the circus. I need to find the person who has my number by mistake.

In the meantime, I spent last nite cooking my lunches for this week. I got all my 5 baggies of oatmeal together and my fruits. And I cooked all my veggies and grilled my chicken. Until I find the b*#@h who stole my number, I'll just have to eat different. No more sodium laden Smart Ones for lunch..I made my own. If you see the tramp with my number around..jump her and get it back for me."

Cheers!

The Catharsis

Sometimes the release that you need comes in the form of karaoke at a random neighbors' house. Actually, it was before that. The kick I needed to get me out of whatever funk I was in came and the release was long since needed. I couldn't figure out what was bothering me and when I finally did, it was so cathartic. Wednesday I went to track practice and hoped that would get me back in the game. It helped. Thursday I had a climbing lesson and that helped even more. But when you can finally release yourself from someone that is bringing you down, it is so liberating. That was what I needed. It came in the form of a great and random Friday afternoon and night. This afternoon, I climbed. My body is totally fatigued because I haven't used those muscle groups in so long and my mind was cleared by the intensity of the climbing and then I felt the release of not feeling like someone else was in control.

There is no point wasting ones time with someone who doesn't know how or doesn't feel like treating you respectfully. I tell my students something along those lines, but I myself can't quite figure out how to get away from people who aren't respectful.

I returned from China happy and refreshed. It didn't take long to feel rejected and down. But that was because I let someone take over control. Somehow I thought that I would rise in their eyes by letting them be in control. When I realized I was the person that mattered, the anxiety and anger suddenly subsided.

I am back to being me and I have awesome friends to tell me that I am worth more than that person was worth.

I learned that my neighbor is quite the karaoke lover, too. It was utterly fun. I recommend karaoke at some random person's house and a good climb. For me that did the trick. Glad you're back in the game, my dear. Enjoy.

The Great Wall

I think the building of the Great Wall must be like the beginning days of school. A process that seems both exhilirating and frustrating to begin year after year. It requires a lot of discipline (or slave labor) to manage either task.

Actually, we have no idea what manual labor of that caliber is like.

School began and a new batch of faces arrived. I think that I may have left my chutzpah on the Great Wall. Try as I might, I can't get my head in the game this year. I am usually racing with ideas as soon as I check into the program, but for whatever reason, NADA. I am distracted. Riding bicycles and hanging at the beach all day usurped end of summer planning. Wah. Malbecs and pinots filled my mind over positive discipline and community building. I am frustrated...

(Okay, break, someone please tell me why Samuel L. Jackson is doing "Snakes on a Plane" ?!?!)

...back to frustrated. When it seems like something is working and your collegues and you work really hard to make it viable and solid, then you are told that you're going to do it another way, it feels frustrating. I want to believe that these decisions place kids at the heart of the matter, but they sometimes seems awfully kid "unfriendly." There are lots of different philosophies surrounding education and I think that is part of the problem, everyone thinks they have the solution and nobody listens to anyone else and really nobody has the solution. Or rather, they all have good solutions, but think its a zero-sum game. My way or the highway. What works in LA isn't necessarily applicable to NY, Boston to San Francisco, Seattle to Chicago. There are best practices. That's what you learn in teacher school. Then there are classroom experiences. Then there are socio-economics, second-language, etc., etc. I just don't think you can prescribe one thing for all. You are probably thinking that I am a Montessori teacher who thinks all things standards and state testing should be thrown with a brick to the bottom of the ocean. I'm not. I am both a product of and a believer in public education. I won't go there, however.

It becomes like Groundhog's Day. We just see the same shadows again and again and are wondering why winter doesn't come six weeks early. Because it is the nature of the beast. What worked when, doesn't work when and when and now. Or it does. The pendulum swings and probably the best of the best, keep on keepin' on. The 30-year vets that know the business and have managed through a lot of practice to figure out what works. We've thinned it out, dumbed it down because we don't actually believe anyone will want to stay in the game that long and so it has to be that easy to train. I will say one thing, in my district you get a mentor for two years as a beginning teacher (those 30-year vets) and a lot of training, and that is exactly what many beginning teachers need. Okay, I went there. There is no there there, right?

I put too much of myself into it and somehow have to remove some of that. I demand a lot of my students and always will. I go to bat for what I believe to be best for them and it is a lot of emotional energy. The chutzpah, what I believed would eventually with more years would make me a great teacher, is caputz. Someone breathe the life back into me! Augh!

This post is too much a reflection of my end of the day headiness and I think its time to quit and go for a run. Tomorrow after school I have big plans, climbing gym. I have been telling myself for almost a year that I am going to do it and its time to just do. I suppose I will spend the weekend with some immensely sore forearms - which is typically where I feel it.

Karma

Sometimes I think I have bad pet karma. Perhaps in a previous life I was attacked by some henious beast and now subconsciously wish ill upon domestic animals. In college a dog chased me across a busy street (unleashed) and was struck by a car. It sucked. I don't mean to trivialize what happened because I feel awful...really awful. So awful, I can't even look my neighbors in the eye and need to make an attempt to apologize - again. Of course, you're thinking that I hit their cat or dog with my car, but that wasn't it. A friend owns a Siberian husky and it came to my house Saturday. The dog was feeling a little couped up in my tiny apartment and when the screen door was opened, he pushed passed me and darted after the cat. The neighbor's cat. The ran around the back unit, then under my tiny porch and through the hole that leads under the house. The whole time my friend and I were yelling at the dog - obviously to no avail. When I finally spotted him again, I noticed a pair of eyes hanging from what appeared to be his jowls. I became immediately terrified. "Please don't let that be the cat, dear god." God did not hear my pleas and after my friend crawled under the house, we retreived a very deceased cat. My neighbor's cat. Oh god. Dear god. The dog killed my neighbor's cat. Jeezus. When we told her, I wanted to curl up in ball and hide.

I am not a pet owner, but I like animals. I pet the cats that come around my porch and play with them. We had rabbits when I was little. The neighbors' cats killed my rabbits a lot. I don't know if I cried. I was five. Probably. Later we had cats, but they stayed outside. Some of them got hit by cars and died. We had a dog too. She was outside in the backyard mostly. She got attacked once by a raccoon and my parents nursed her back to health. My good friend in San Francisco owns two cats. One of his cats feel from a four story window and survived. I am trying to remind myself that things happen to pets. I think this is pretty awful though. Maybe I shouldn't touch the pets anymore. Karma.

My Favorite Day

Some of the best experiences traveling are when you get to see what people do. In the U.S. there is an absence of public space where people can meet and visit and play. I am reminded of the sense of community we lack whenever I experience life in the streets abroad.

We woke up at 6 a.m. and were headed to the city wall for a walk. Our hotel, although a total dump, was situated across the street from the wall in Xi'an and so it made for a good location. The exterior of the wall has a moat and parkscape that was adorned with maples (or what looked like them) and ginkos. We scurried along a stone path between the moat and the wall. People were doing their "morning practice," as our guide called it, or exercise. The night before I had walked down and we watched dancing in front of the drawbridge, we headed in that direction now. About two-thirds of the way to the drawbridge, we heard the thumping of music. Looking across the moat, there were people doing aerobics. We trekked across the bridge and doubled back to where the aerobics was taking place. It was a community space. There were about 100-200 people within and around a wrought iron fenced patio space. I searched for the instruction, but there didn't seem to be anyone, as if by osmosis everyone knew how to move. We joined a couple of older women outside the gate and attempted to follow this leaderless aerobics. Eventually it stopped and people repositioned themselves, some began to ballroom dance and others (women) were doing what I came to know as the fan dance. We skirted around the fence and went inside to join the fan dancing. I am not a terrible dancer, but I certainly lack any practice for basic 1-2-3-4. After about 20 tries of the same steps, I got it and one of the women turned and smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I would venture that most of the people were between the ages of 40 and 80. My friend was soon whisked away by a funny looking man to dance ballroom. I continued with the fan dancing until the tempo picked up and the steps became too confusing. I ventured over to watch the dancing. A tall, slender, and very regal looking woman and her partner twirled in front of me. She gave me a slight smile and nod as they passed. It was mesmerizing to watch this couple. My parents tell me of how my grandfather (paternal) was an exceptional dancer, as good as Fred Astaire according to my mother. He and my grandmother (who was also a great dancer) met at a dance hall. I never saw them dance because by the time I came around, they had long since stopped. I imagined that these were my grandparents if time and inhibitions hadn't caught up to them. Most of the dancers had probably lived during the strictest time of the communist regime. It was my understanding that dancing was outlawed. These elders probably continued to practice dancing in their homes, and when they were allowed again, brought it to the streets. But that is just my speculation. After refusing a dance with one gentleman, I finally got over my inhibitions and danced with another. He had some English and everyone was very curious as to where we came from and what we were doing at 7 in the morning at a park.

Eventually, we had to leave, say good-bye to our partners and get ready for another non-stop tour day. By 7:30 we had already been whisked around a dance floor and gotten some morning practice of our own. Today it was to visit the terra-cotta soldiers. The terra-cotta soldiers are tremendous. "The Terra Cotta Army was discovered in March 1974 by local farmers drilling a water well to the east of Mount Lishan. Mount Lishan is the name of the man-made necropolis of the First Emperor of the Qin Dynasty; [Qin Shi Huang]. This is also where the material to make the terra cotta warriors was made, and found. Construction of this mausoleum began in 246 BC and is believed to have taken 700,000 workers and craftsmen 38 years to complete. Qin Shi Huang was interred inside the tomb complex upon his death in 210 BC." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terracotta_Army)

At the end of the day, we were ready for some independent time and, ignoring the hotel’s advice, ventured to the Muslim district of Xi’an. It was 9 o’clock and the streets were still packed with vendors and people eating and shopping. There were sounds of creaky old bicycle carts, smells of grilled fish and chicken, and sights of colorfully arrayed sweets and fruits abounding. It was a sensory delight.

Money in Your Pocket

Its always great to find money in your pocket, except when its 100 yuan. Doh! I put on my running shorts yesterday (obviously haven't done that in awhile) and there was 100 yuan. Nothing like an $8 souvenir.

I went into to school yesterday only to find out the district has changed the bilingual program and I will be starting with it in three days. Don't you love how they make decisions that affect you (and the students) during the summer, so that you can't be a part of them (to contest. protest, find another job.) I want to believe that there were some intelligent, well-informed people involved in this process. Given the outcome, probably not. There is no need for me to hide my feelings on the blog because most people know how I feel about the matter. It astounds me that the same people that benefitted from policies of past seem to be the ones so bent on ridding the system of those policies. Maybe it is misperceived.

A moment of weakness, I had to comment. My back comments are only as good as my notes and my memories (and the photos.) I have relayed the same stories again and again that sometimes I don't know what I have told people. China, this, China, that. But let's continue...

Xi'an is rich with history and legend. Our tour guide explained that China's history is like a tree, at the roots lies Xi'an - 5,000 years old. It was the ancient capital. The old city is surrounded by a wall. "The city wall of Xi'an is an extension of the old Tang Dynasty structure, as a result of a wall building campaign. Xi'an's city wall after its enlargement in the Ming Dynasty stands 12 meters high. It is 12-14 meters across the top, 15-18 meters thick at bottom and 13.7 kilometers in length." (http://www.legendtour.ru/eng/china/r0203.shtml) The area inside the wall (and moat) is 800 sq km. The orignal wall was build by Emperor Zhu, of the Tang Dynasty. The legend goes that earthquakes were frequent in Xi'an and the emperor was told that a dragon was causing them. To stop the earthquakes, the dragon needed to enclosed within a wall. A bell tower, the exact center of the city, was placed on the dragon's head. There have been no earthquakes since. Maybe San Francisco needs to look into this. This Emperor Zhu was an interesting character. Zhu fell in love with his son's wife. She was sent off to a monastery and upon her return became the first concubine of the Emperor. She is considered the most beautiful woman of China. There were four, she apparently holds the number one spot. She is described by our size two guide as being more plump and having a double chin. She's probably a size 12 and I saw no evidence of a double chin on her statue. You can judge for yourself from the picture. Eventually some ministers felt threatened by her, told the emperor she was evil and was going to try to take over and so she and her family committed suicide to save the Emperor's good name. God love a threatened group of men. Apparently women of the Tang society got a better deal. The got to wear sexy clothes, ride horses and such. Of course if you are going to let a voluptuous woman ride a horse wouldn't you want her in a low cut dress.

One of my favorite days was spent in Xi'an, but I will save that for another post as this one is getting pretty lengthy. I now have to prepare my brain and body for some running and work. Woe is me.

ciao.

Home Sweet Home

While I haven't posted as to the final events of the trip, I am home and will probably back track and recall highlights post return. It is so wonderful to be home. I came home to the news that my best friend's father had passed away and immediately drove with mom to our hometown. A sadness I can't and won't describe. One can only hope to touch the lives of others the way this human being did. I am fortunate to have known him and even more fortunate to have the continued friendship of his two daughters and son. They are also exceptional people, each wonderful and unique in their own way. My own relationship with my parents is very strong and I can't even imagine losing them, even though I am quite aware and think about its inevitability. I never once pretended to know what they were going through, I tried only to come and support when I seemed needed and leave when it was apparent I wasn't.

It is really the first death I have dealt with on this level. He was known, he was a unique spirit, he was loved and he will be terribly missed. But he is also a reminder as to how precious, wonderful and short life is. While suffering, pain, regret, happiness, joy, love, and all those other things are inevitable pieces of this thing called human existance; we can not let so much get in the way of the things that are really important. Whatever that means for each person.

I digress. I hope to piece by piece get back to my final adventures in China. Overall I would have to say it was an amazing (and to be repeated) experience. One can hardly imagine, living in the United States, what thousands of years of history and tradition can create. Actually, it creates a Starbucks inside the Forbidden City...but that's just the cynic in me. Yes, I had a cup, it was raining and I wore a sundress that day...and I like my coffee - OKAY!?! To my credit, I do not drink Starbucks in California (cost and taste preference, actually.) It costs less than a dollar to make it at home and pour it in my reusable mug.

Starbucks, KFC, Pizza Hut, McDonalds. It goes without saying. It is no longer strange, nor do I become hateful upon seeing these things. However, I will say this: the cheapest McDonalds in the world is in Hong Kong. I read an article in Newsweek about a Chinese-American woman who was raised on American fast food. Her mother, having grown up in communist China, essentially wanted her daughter to become plump to show that they were doing well financially. The mother would parade the daughter around to the neighbors who would nod approvingly. Stopping in McDonalds in Shanghai to use the bathroom, it was the first instance of obesity in Chinese children I witnessed. I didn't really want to get into a diatribe about whether fast food and the diet of America is bad or good...We all make choices in life about diet, exercise, where to live, how to live, etc., but for those (like myself) who has never lived at or below the poverty line, how might those choices change when the need to meet basic necessities is almost life threatening?

I won't pretend to have the answers for any of this at the moment.

It was 90 degrees where I live today. I wasn't particularly happy about this. This is not typical for where I live. I actually broke down and bought a fan. I don't have A/C and the sun beats on my tiny apartment from about 2pm until 6pm. Its like a sauna. It was, however, nice to fall into the routine of daily life - to school to pick up materials so I can plan at home, then the dentist, house clean-up and a run. However mundane, sometimes its nice just to do without thinking. I am now in the process of thinking about how I will get a presentation together to show both staff and students my trip. I am not sure I would want to sit through someone's boring power point presentation. Will continue to back post, so keep reading!