Breakthroughs

It feels as if I have had nothing to post about. I try to avoid posting about my personal life and things at work that seem contraversial. It is hard because a part of me wants to share with people the ups and downs of being a teacher, a human being and a woman. I need to slow down. I need to not get so worked up about things. I had two good meetings. I went into both of them thinking I was going to be annoyed and feel like it was a waste of time. I left both feeling like some ground had been gained and some real successes were made. It felt good. I do good work and I just have to keep reminding myself of that. Tomorrow is Friday and like all Fridays I look forward to math exploration, art and end of the day "exploration." It is important the students learn how to socialize, just as much as they learn how to read and write, not to mention we have art standards, but that only seems to apply to those who can "afford" to do art. We all need that time.

It took awhile, but I feel as if I am understanding the dynamic. Last year they were self-motivated and engaged. This year they need movement with learning. A lot more than last year. My students are different types of learners than I and I must embrace that and adjust to their needs. It was a hard transtition because the group from last year and I just fit.

They are all brilliant, wonderful, and deserve my best. It saddens me that I haven't been able to give what I am capable of. Sure I am a good teacher, but a little more effort could make me a great teacher and time will make me an exceptional teacher. I know it sounds trite and egotistical, but this is a world where you have to be. You would die without giving yourself props because no one else will.

I climbed today. I was supposed to meet someone, who never showed. I bouldered for awhile and then found someone to belay. It was intense, great and exactly what I needed. I have been tired and lagging all week. I will be glad when this week is over and I can recover from the Labor Day festivities, a slow week and a good cleansing end to something that needed to have closure. Hard as that may be, I needed to do what was best for me. I may never find what I need, but at least I find out what I don't need with each passing lesson.

It is a long way between now and Veteran's Day, keep it fun, keep it light and enjoy what life has to offer. That is my advice to myself and anyone who chooses to connect with that idea.

Ciao.