Minutes to Days to Months...

I expected it, right? The new job, the new relationship, the new (and longer) commute, all of it, I knew it would be a challenge. I guess the unexpected of this challenge was the most difficult student I have ever encountered. The first months of my new job transformed the joy of new students and new staff into something dreadful. I questioned everything. I still am questioning everything. Last night JE and I went to dinner, I said I still didn't know if I wanted to do this job. I thrive on challenge, I thrive creating to meet the needs of my students, but suddenly I found myself wishing the day away. I find myself day in and day out nagging, lecturing, picking up after children who apparently have never been taught to do it themselves. Certainly not by me because we go over it again, and again, and again. I found myself disliking what I had become. Not the teacher focused on teaching her kids to care, to excel, to be motivated to read and explore, but just another teacher going through the motions. At that point you are forced to reevaluate. I guess the bottom line is: Would I be happpy doing anything? We talked and talked about what would make me happy if not this. Do I need to talk to a professional to figure this out? On and on. JE goes to work everyday and enjoys what he does. Not everything, of course. I don't know, I may be trying to figure this out my whole life. Perhaps I'll be a hundred and finally find it. If I'm so lucky.

So minutes of the day dissolve into months and I can hardly believe it is a week and a half to Thanksgiving. Time with family, meeting the new beau's parents in December out on the East Coast. Something very new for this California girl. I don't spend vacations in the snow, I spend them sitting on beaches in Mexico where its warm or lounging around at my parent's house reading and running. I will probably end up needed a vacation from my vacation. I'm a huge homebody so this December trip will be a big challenge for me - first brother's house in the snow, then off to the other side of the country for a whirlwind tour of all the various relatives and friend's houses. No rest for the weary. I'm excited though. JE and I really work together and this is the first time I can honestly say that and not have those nagging feelings of red flags in the back of my head. He's honest, respectful, and even has made reservations for my birthday dinner two months in advance. That's class. I'm sure everyone thought we were crazy for moving in together so soon, but its been six months and I can safely say there aren't any red flags. And after all the lovelies I've managed to find, I have become quite adept at noticing them.

Here's to lots of snowy visits out that way.